Miss Jackson Café (St. Kilda)

This one’s for real.

There are many reasons to visit Grey Street; quite a few of which are not entirely legal or ethical.  Welcome to the very epicentre of Melbourne’s notorious red light district.  Fortunately, during the daytime things are a little more placid; one can easily peruse the street’s various op shops before or after a visit to a local gem of a café in Miss Jackson.

The lads at the helm of this place: Matt and Steve, boast as much character as the neighbourhood itself.  Become a regular and you will find yourself the target of wry, deprecated but well-meaning humour from the larrikin Steve.  Hearty laughter to accompany equally hearty coffee and even heartier food is the order of the day here.

The beans come by way of Allpress Espresso, a New Zealand company also based in Sydney.  Take the time to enjoy a sit-down coffee; Miss Jackson's strong flat white is up there with Melbourne’s best in terms of full flavour, punch, balance and texture.  Moreover, it is always served at just the right temperature.  I would not be writing this review if it weren’t…

Should you insist upon taking your coffee to go, know this: you are missing out on the experience of sitting in a fantastic space that resembles a quirky student share-house.  The interior is bright, colourful and airy.  If you are visiting the area for the day, there is no more perfect environment in which to while away an hour before getting your St. Kilda (mis)adventures underway.  The rustic, often soaking wet outside area is where the bad kids hang out, myself included, sometimes with a longneck of Coopers Pale Ale in hand.  Boozehounds rejoice!  There is a small but no less comprehensive drinks menu that is perfect for midday imbibing.

If you have time to eat, Miss Jackson offers up one of the most unique breakfast / brunch menus around both the bay area and Melbourne as a whole.  The bacon and egg Piadina (pictured) goes down an absolute storm, especially if you request it to be served with prosciutto.  The freshly made house flat bread is a doughy, savoury delight in itself; indeed, the folks at Miss Jackson are proud purveyors of seasonal, organic, fresh and free-range ingredients.

Slaves to the sweet tooth, fear not!  Chef Adam Owen has got you what you need with the most otherworldly pancakes around (also pictured); fluffy, bready and delightfully immersed beneath toppings of sumptuous fried banana, honeycomb butter and a cream glaze.  The full effect of all this is a brilliant interplay between soft and crunchy caramel textures.  You and your dentist may thank me later.

Miss Jackson is an absolute must for both locals and visitors alike.  There are few better places at which to fuel up, wind down and chill out.

2/19 Grey St  St. Kilda  Victoria

Nearest Tram stop:  St. Kilda Station (Route 96) or the Canterbury Road stop (Routes 3A and 16 - the former of which runs only on weekends)

* It is worth noting that the entrance to Miss Jackson can be found on Jackson Street, hence the café’s name.  If arriving from Fitzroy Street, it is located on the Fitzroy Street side of the road so to speak).

Open 6 Days a week: every day except Mondays.

Sierra Nevada: Blindfold (Black IPA)

Beer DeLuxe, Federation Square Melbourne

I am not going to throw blind puns at you on this one - there is so much more to this beer than its clever name.

It is rather difficult gauging the current IPA climate.  One minute it is sunny, session IPAs (that to my mind are a pale ale dressed in IPA clothing), then the storm clouds gather and we enter black IPA territory (an endearing misnomer, if ever there was one).  Enter Sierra Nevada's 4-Way IPA series, that goes all Melbourne on us by providing four seasons in one day.

As the name suggests, there are four individual beers that comprise this (partially) one-off seasonal batch-release.  Heading the way is Sierra Nevada's permanent-fixture, flagship IPA: Torpedo, which is highly celebrated and with good reason.  It is joined by Nooner (a "session IPA;" the only let-down in the series), Snow Wit White IPA (which I have covered in a separate review) and its equally awesome black brother, Blindfold Black IPA.

Straight off the bat, Blindfold strikes with aromas of hay and barn straw.  Hop aromas are muted overall underneath this rural tonality.

The mouthfeel here is nigh on perfect for the black IPA style.  It is not overwhelmingly dense; such that it contributes to the overall balance of the end result.  

The well-balanced backbone here is roasty and astringent, however it is offset nicely by way of the beer's fantastically malty body.  Bold, but somehow subtle, peppermint, rosemary and very black tea notes sing through.  Blindfold is quite the herbal-driven diva!

This is a beer whose flavour changes as one goes down the glass.  The herbal and drying, rural floral characteristics reveal themselves more and more until the very last drop.  The sense of intrigue only increases; so much so that I found myself eschewing further exploration in lieu of going back for seconds and thirds.

One cannot help but embrace the dark clouds as they start gathering.  What else is there to do?  This is especially true of an approaching thunderstorm.  It could even be said that Blindfold IPA encapsulates the stillness and building humidity that is endemic of the changing seasons.  When the clouds eventually part, one can always follow suit and take in the Torpedo, Nooner or Snow Wit White IPA offerings.

8 Wired: iStout

Beer DeLuxe, Federation Square Melbourne

Not available for Android!

New Zealand is shaping up as one of the global powerhouses within the craft beer scene.  Epic, Emersons, Moa, Tuatara, Garage Project and 8 Wired are leading the charge, and it is the latter which has delivered what is easily one of the best non-seasonal stouts available today.  Say hello to 8 Wired: iStout (Siri coming soon!).

From the keg, iStout boasts an enormously peaty aroma, with overtones of mocha that do not belie what follows.

"Full bodied" does not even begin to cover the mouthfeel here.  It is as dense and as rich as the black sand to be found at Piha Beach (I say this as though I have actually been there!).  Igneous, smoky and peaty characteristics pan across a palate otherwise dominated by the flavours of well-roasted coffee.  If it were possible to toast afogato, this incredible brew might very well resemble the end result.

Describing the balance and overall impact of iStout is no easy task.  Perhaps if an anvil were to be dropped upon one end of a see-saw, with a budgie sat at the opposite; the two then collide in mid-air.  The question is: is the budgie the peat element, or is it that of the coffee?  Both elements of flavour come on so strong that the impact is truly telling.

From the bottle the results are slightly different; bearing in mind that I am reviewing from distant memory here (I had previously sampled iStout at Adelaide's awesome Wheatsheaf Hotel back in January of 2012).  iStout seems to lose some of its robust body when poured from the bottle, but then this might even be as a result of neglecting a partial pour (taking it to the top instead).  Beer appreciation is, after all, a lifelong journey of experience; experience that includes learning.

The bottle is easy enough to find at specialty beer stores, however on tap, iStout is something of a rarity.  Asking Siri where you might find it next may yield disappointing results.  Instead, download the excellent Now Tapped! app (iOS or Android) and keep your eyes peeled.

* Frankly, I would love to see that budgie completely obliterated; that silly little bird that makes that irritating noise whenever a Samsung Galaxy S owner is alerted to a new text message.

Sixpoint: 150% Citrus

Beer Deluxe, Federation Square (Melbourne)

As fresh as sweet, fragrant outback air.

It has to be said that Sixpoint’s IPA offerings are those by which all others may be judged.  150% Citrus trumps not only previous releases by Sixpoint themselves, it also tops many competitors in its class.

On the nose, it wallops forth with grapefruit and vigorous vinegary sharpness; balance arrives by way an air of arid plant earthiness.

Grapefruit and blood orange dominate throughout before the backline of the palate is struck by full, rotund hop bitterness.  There are arid plant undertones coming through that do well in adding complexity to 150% Citrus.  The arid character is not that of saltbush (a favourite IPA tasting note of mine - one that transposes the smell of the plant to taste); instead it is of another unidentifiable arid or semi-arid plant.  It is not pine, either.  Whatever it is, I like it, and the whole experience is rounded off by a smooth mouthfeel.

It is like stepping off the train at Cook in the middle of the Nullarbor.  The sun has a bite to it; likewise this fantastic beer, however there is a cool breeze blowing as well.  There is in fact nothing like breathing in the fresh, untainted desert winds, especially the cool, fragrant kind that suggest forthcoming or recent rainfall.  150% Citrus is indeed quite the breah of fresh air that speaks of such experiences.

MOO Brew: Velvet Sledgehammer Seasonal Stout

Great Northern Hotel, Carlton North (Melbourne).

Or cast-iron curtain, but then is it a Russian imperial stout?

Tassie brewmeisters MOO Brew were responsible for blowing me away with their 2014 Imperial stout (enjoyed at Fremantle’s Sail & Anchor pub), and with Velvet Sledgehammer they have continued their fine vein of form.  And while not officially a Russian Imperial, this is a stout that boasts Russian military might in a glass.*

Where the former stout bomb was as smooth as a secret agent, Velvet Sledgehammer is a lot more overt, and certainly a lot less covert.  Its ABV does not hide behind a mask, its complexity comes with a full military briefing and its character is built to withstand any (nuclear) winter.

Velvet Sledgehammer is in no way sweet, which is a refreshing change given that so many imperial stouts are nowadays.  Bitter, dark fruit and burnt raisin toast characters dominate proceedings here, from the nose right through to the back palate.  The mouthfeel is unique to say the very least; low carbonation, but zesty as though it were a great deal higher.

To call this a Russian Imperial Stout would be somewhat inaccurate.  This is a future endeavour, rather than a tribute to history.

* Disclaimer:  War and war propaganda, frankly, sucks.  Won't you join me in raising a glass to peace and the concept of sharing our abundant resources (which is, of course, completely unfathomable to the "rich")?  Cheers!

Brasserie Dieu du Ciel!: Péché Mortel Imperial Stout

Terminus Hotel, Fitzroy North  (Melbourne)

The charm of mortal sin.

Péché Mortel translates from French to English as "mortal sin".  The Devil is in the detail in this excellent imperial stout from Canada's Brasserie Dieu du Ciel!  This is a beer that is as dark and as tempting as the name suggests.

There is fire, there is brimstone, and there is all that led one up to such a place.  The alcoholic fieriness, however, is as well concealed as underlying Lucifarian imagery in today's contemporary music, yet is undeniably present.  At  9.5%, I am unsure as to whether or not writer's block is as a result of Péché Mortel's potency, or as a result of divine intention invoked by the mere mention of Lucifer's name.  Spooky, no?  Either which way, this particular dark lord has a hold of me.

On the nose and in its character, cacao runs through like the molten lakes of Hell.  Mouthfeel is for the most part smooth, however there is a sinister, almost fizzy "Dance of Death" playing upon the upper reaches of my tongue.  Dance of Death is, by the way, one of Iron Maiden's finest moments (the album in its entirety and the title track).  A solid head dissipates, giving way to good lacing, which is of course fairly typical of any imperial stout.

Warm, bold chocolate characters dominate.  There is.coffee / mocha there too.  So dominant are these omnipresent flavours that all is forgotten in the world of overly complex stouts; instead, these flavours are simply nigh on perfect in their attack, deliverance and balance.

In writing this, I found myself caught in a spiritual epiphany, in which light met the darkness.  I am drunk, in other words!  Indeed, this is a beer that could charm the fallen angel himself with its decadence.

Moon Dog / Garage Project: Chocolate Salty Balls

Terminus Hotel, Fitzroy North (Melbourne)

R.I.P., Mr. Isaiah Hayes!

Who can forget Chef's finest moments from the early days of South Park?  "I'm gonna make love to ya woman, gonna lay ya down bah the faiah!"  I am instantly reminded of such moments upon the name of this collaborative beer from Melbourne's Moon Dog and New Zealand's very own Garage Project breweries.

Oh yes, there is a definite aphrodisiac quality to Chocolate Salty Balls, even if it falls slightly short of being a truly outstanding chocolate stout.

On the nose there are characteristics of brine and chocolate; simple, yet elegant.

Chocolate Salty Balls' mouthfeel is, to be frank, a wee bit over-carbonated for my liking.  A smoother complexion and texture would be infinitely more preferable given its overall flavour profile, but in saying that, those who find stouts to be "too heavy" might find a lot to love here.

Aside from choc-heavy flavours coming through, there are suggestive notes of coffee, date, raisin and other dark fruit; the latter being slightly astringent and earthy in character.  Date pudding is rife in the long-lingering aftertaste.

Overall, I have to say that something is amiss, however I cannot quite put my finger on it.  Perhaps what is missing here is Isaiah Heyes himself?  Nevertheless, in spite of Chocolate Salty Balls' obvious flaws, it is a flavourful, accessible beer that is also a fitting tribute to the man who gave us so many belly-laughs over the years.